Shadow Life empowers you to do the self-work required to heal from a narcissistic relationship.

Narcissistic relational trauma becomes tangled into your soul, into every part of your being.

These tangles are so deep that they insidiously begin to govern our very being; they run our lives even after we separate from the narcissist. Our recurring thoughts and self-talk are like a carousel with no exit. We are stuck with our thoughts, our fears, our sleepless nights, our self-blame, our unworthiness. How do you find your way back to you – to come out of the shadow that the narcissist traps you in.

Stepping into the light from the shadow is hard work and no one can do it for you, but you don’t have to do it alone. Shadow Life offers reflection, insight and somatic explorations so that you can emerge as you in the light again.

Our Experience in Narcissistic Relationships

After witnessing Paula’s dramatic separation and the painful aftermath, Sofie guided her friend Paula gently through the somatic exercises. She helped Paula stabilize and start to process and repair the trauma and wide swath of damage and wounding a narcissist does – to self-worth, and to attachment. To begin the complex grieving and recovery process that is made so difficult in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.

During the process Paula started writing down her innermost thoughts and feelings. What she writes is not a diary but snippets of memories, feelings and fears. We left the write-ups unaltered and without any editing to retain the originality and raw emotions. These short write-ups were inspired by our daily discussions and we connect them to the related exercises and explain how they came to direct further wound repair work.

We want to share this with you. We share Paula’s write-ups and correspond them to Sophie’s words and exercises, with a stress on somatic processing. We hope that you can use these exercises for your own healing. We never discount or disregard the power of a compassionate witness or professional therapist in this healing work. We are human; we heal in connection. But each journey is an individual one, and we hope these tools add to your support network.

Liberation after Narcissistic “Love”

We are two very long-time friends, Paula and Sofie. We are professional, intelligent women who have survived relationships with narcissists.

Sofie left her narcissist years ago and did many types of therapy, study, and self-work to recover. She is now certified in Somatic Trauma Therapy, integrated spirituality, massage therapy with a specialization in body psychology, and Ashtanga yoga instruction. Sofie is currently working on a path to seminary and intends to get a PhD in Somatic psychology. She wants her life and learning to be a light for others on the path of self-discovery and realization.

Paula ended her long marriage five years ago after a dramatic dismissal. The stress of living for over thirty years with a narcissistic husband, as well as the events that lead to the end of the marriage triggered a rare autoimmune disease. The traumatic discard, the realization that the truth as she knew it was not real; the appearance of the shiny front of the narcissist gave way to the reality of the dark abyss of abuse. She is not a victim. She runs a company and is determined to shine brightly on her own, obliterating the shadow cast by any narcissist.